I am now back in Santiago after walking up to Fisterra and Muxía on the Jacobean trail. I will write more about this in another post but given my rather sulky last post about Santiago I thought I'd share some more thoughts on arrival and expectations.
Leaving Santiago last Monday morning I felt my spirits positively sore as I left the city behind and once again began to walk in the peaceful Galician countryside. Leaving the city felt and being back on the road, still moving still journeying on, felt right.
I walked on for three days, enjoying the walking, emptying my head and having a good sing o myself! Towards the end of the third day just before the decent into Cée I caught a glimpse of the sea as I rounded a corner. I was suddenly overwhelmed with joy and an enormous sense of wellbeing. I stopped and wept for joy. I was not expecting this reaction. I have seen such glorious views this pilgrimage, much of which have reminded me strongly of Rural Wales, but nothing as struck me so powerfully.
I realized later that this was the reaction I expected to have in Santiago, but didn't. I'm still not sure what is was about that sea view that caused me to react thus. I had done a lot of thinking and praying and processing since leaving Santiago and perhaps this suddenly different view of the world triggered a 'letting go'. Who knows.
Now back in the city I feel nothing of the angst I held onto a week ago. I am quite enjoying bouncing around this little city and getting hopelessly lost as my internal compass (that works so well in the countryside) goes to pot in the city. But I have journeyed on since last week, in body, mind and spirit. I have 'arrived' at two other destinations. Getting into Finisterre and Muxía were both surrounded by relief of arrival, a bit of getting lost (!)!, and the great joy of being where I was supposed to be.
I had 'great expectations' of Santiago and none of Fisterra or Muxía and certainly none of the Sea at Cée. Perhaps that was it. Or perhaps I was not ready at that point to stop and be in Santiago- I was still on the road emotionally and spiritually. Coming back into Santiago a second time, this time truly at the end of this journey, I am ready to just be here.
Leaving Santiago last Monday morning I felt my spirits positively sore as I left the city behind and once again began to walk in the peaceful Galician countryside. Leaving the city felt and being back on the road, still moving still journeying on, felt right.
I walked on for three days, enjoying the walking, emptying my head and having a good sing o myself! Towards the end of the third day just before the decent into Cée I caught a glimpse of the sea as I rounded a corner. I was suddenly overwhelmed with joy and an enormous sense of wellbeing. I stopped and wept for joy. I was not expecting this reaction. I have seen such glorious views this pilgrimage, much of which have reminded me strongly of Rural Wales, but nothing as struck me so powerfully.
I realized later that this was the reaction I expected to have in Santiago, but didn't. I'm still not sure what is was about that sea view that caused me to react thus. I had done a lot of thinking and praying and processing since leaving Santiago and perhaps this suddenly different view of the world triggered a 'letting go'. Who knows.
Now back in the city I feel nothing of the angst I held onto a week ago. I am quite enjoying bouncing around this little city and getting hopelessly lost as my internal compass (that works so well in the countryside) goes to pot in the city. But I have journeyed on since last week, in body, mind and spirit. I have 'arrived' at two other destinations. Getting into Finisterre and Muxía were both surrounded by relief of arrival, a bit of getting lost (!)!, and the great joy of being where I was supposed to be.
I had 'great expectations' of Santiago and none of Fisterra or Muxía and certainly none of the Sea at Cée. Perhaps that was it. Or perhaps I was not ready at that point to stop and be in Santiago- I was still on the road emotionally and spiritually. Coming back into Santiago a second time, this time truly at the end of this journey, I am ready to just be here.
I'm jealous. Green with envy to be honest. Santiago has formed my life post university. I made the 'big choices' on the road - determined myself to live a life dedicated to Christ, a life formed by a radical type of love I did not fully understand. When I arrived in Santiago I put down my rucsac and felt 'light'. At first the lightness seemed strange, like I had lost something, but it never went away, so I got used to it - the lack of baggage carried by the Christian. I long to walk again, just to refresh myself and remind myself of the promises I made then, promises between me and Him.
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